Responsibly Preventing a New Ice Age

Over at Trudeaupia, we are advised that man-made global warming efforts may in fact be preventing another ice age from freezing all of us to our bedposts. Gadzooks! The truth has escaped from the media alchemists in the Prime Minister's office. This is not at all good news, in my view. My comrade in the Red Ensign brigade may be well intentioned, but consider the consequences if this story gets around.

We will see a massive new public relations spending program which circumvents the established procurement process in the federal civil service. I mean, if it was important enough to ignore due diligence in order to save Canada from the separatists, what measures will be undertaken to save the whole northern hemisphere from mile high glaciers. We all now know how it works thanks to the dozens of lawyers trolling for billable hours at the Gomery Commission.

Somebody like Warren Kinsella will tell somebody who is a second cousin to somebody who's sister once slept with somebody who has a job cleaning toilets in the Prime Minister's office and before we know it, bingo, there's a new Liberal sponsorship program with a new rogue civil servant appointed who never ever talks to his political masters about where the gazillian dollars of taxpayer money is going, except when he does, and the minister responsible for the new program will deny any recollection of the meetings which never happened anyway except when they did or take responsibility for the spending except when the responsible minister takes responsibility for remedial measures taken after the fact to remediate the program which he says was never doing anything wrong anyway and if it was it was it was all the responsibility of the irresponsible rogue civil servant who the responsible minister never knew was rogue and who can hold him responsible for that as he is not a mind reader and it is only now clear the responsible rogue civil servant was never responsible enough to tell except when he did the responsible minister who was not really responsible for who got the tax dollars anyway, ....

and,.... (puff, puff, ... a man's gotta breathe)

..... the Liberal Party will be responsibly aghast when they learn that the Crown corporation heads who received the glacier prevention sponsorship revenues then flipped gobs of it over to the Liberal Party's trust accounts in a most irresponsible manner and no one who is reasonable would hold the Liberal Party responsible for the fact that the rogue civil servant irresponsibly commissioned reports into the effects of mile high glaciers on Quebec dairy farms without responsibly demanding actual reports in return and it was all the fault of the responsible Crown corporation heads appointed by the Liberal Party who are not responsible because they had to act fast to save Quebec dairy cows from being crushed by the encroaching ice fields which seemed the responsible thing to do because saving Canada is what Liberals do and it would have worked too had the irresponsible rogue civil servant not been so regrettably irresponsible,...

and ...

... new tv ads paid for by the responsible Crown corporations heads will challenge Canadians to be doubly responsible and accept a two tonne challenge and pass extra wind to reverse the damage done by the irresponsible earlier tv ads urging us to be responsible and accept the one tonne Kyoto reduction challenge by holding back those farts which we now know was the irresponsible thing for responsible people to do as new computer models have conclusively demonstrated that withholding anal gases will lead to crushed frozen cows under a kilometer of ice all over Quebec if we don't cooperate ...

aaannd, ...

.... as the new scandal breaks we'll be told by the responsible minister in yet more tv sponsored ads that we know the two tonne challenge is a roaring success because there are no crushed frozen cows anywhere in Quebec especially in the responsible minister's riding in the Eastern Townships and that dear reader is what the Grits mean when they say they believe so strongly that responsible government is the cornerstone of Canadian politics .....

.... and lest I forget

.... Warren Kinsella would be the most not responsible in any way shape or form for any alleged irresponsibility I'm sure because no blogger least of all John the Mad wants to be so irresponsible as to leave himself open to litigation from the most completely responsible (in the nicest sense of the word) Warren Macho Grit himself and thereby have to sell Castle Mad to pay for Warren's billable hours which would deny the Mad heirs a castle in which to put their new 20 gallon fish tank with two really neat gold fish and two really neat black fish.

So comrades of the Red Ensign brigade, please keep it down about the positive effects of global warming won't you.