Suns Rays to Roast Earth as Poles Flip
Robin McKie, science editor
Sunday November 10, 2002
Earth's magnetic field - the force that protects us from deadly radiation bursts from outer space - is weakening dramatically. Scientists have discovered that its strength has dropped precipitously over the past two centuries and could disappear over the next 1,000 years. The effects could be catastrophic. Powerful radiation bursts, which normally never touch the atmosphere, would heat up its upper layers, triggering climatic disruption. Navigation and communication satellites, Earth's eyes and ears, would be destroyed and migrating animals left unable to navigate.
Thank goodness we have a new potential catastrophe to amuse the latte quaffing, anti-war, anti-American, anti-globalization, pro-Kyoto Accord (not to be confused with the Honda Accord) crowd. A real global scientific humdinger of a disaster movie writ large. We're apparently about 700 thousand years overdue for the earth's magnetic poles to reverse themselves. Soon at a theatre near you. Maybe we can save ourselves if we all turn our fridge magnets in the right direction.
How is it that the David Suzuki foundation is not on to this one yet? Hmmm, can't blame corporate America for it, eh? A small suggestion. The Suzuki Foundation can take up the cause by hiring Jack Layton and Carolyn Parrish to be their spokespoliticians. They could travel the country on their free MP Via Rail passes, insisting that we put into place a national contingency plan to prepare for the coming switch in magnetic poles.
As I see it, the plan would involve grafting global positioning systems to all Canada geese in order to help them get to wherever it is in the States that they poop in the winter. It would show a deep comittment to our feathered friends, while also ensuring those "damn bastards" southern neighbours get crapped on all winter by our geese. Talk about giving them the bird! The optics fit with two of the left's grand causes ..... radical environmentalism and virulent anti-Americanism and it would be a fine way for the left to demonstrate its committment to what they call "Canadian values."
Mind you it, would lend credence to President Bush's insistance that the Americans really do need a missle defence system to shoot down hostile flying objects.