Saturday, October 01, 2005

Piglet Must Die!

Behold the enemy! This creature may look lovable to you, but he must be eliminated at all costs. Ditto with the stuffed version. China pigs must also go. Piggy banks will be verboten. Paul Martin will have to stop his porkbarrelling now.

Picture courtesy of The Pigsite Photo Page (which the Islamists have not yet succeeded in removing from the web).

In the Online Sun (UK) via Relapsed Catholic and The Lost Budgie Blog is this tale which resembles an absurd urban legend. Absurd it is, but alas, no legend.
NOVELTY pig calendars and toys have been banned from a council office - in case they offend Muslim staff.

Workers in the benefits department at Dudley Council, West Midlands, were told to remove or cover up all pig-related items, including toys, porcelain figures, calendars and even a tissue box featuring Winnie the Pooh and Piglet.

Bosses acted after a Muslim complained about pig-shaped stress relievers delivered to the council in the run-up to the Islamic festival of Ramadan.

Muslims are barred from eating pork in the Koran and consider pigs unclean.

Councillor Mahbubur Rahman, a practising Muslim, backed the ban. He said: "It's a tolerance of people's beliefs."
Nice try old bean, but it's actually an intolerance of other people's beliefs and culture. How does that song go again? Oh yes, "With an oink oink here and an oink oink there, here an oink there an oink everywhere an oik oink , old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I O."

You don't like that song, Councillor Rahim? Well, then just take a deep breath and smile. That's tolerance.

Kathy Shaidle of Relapsed Catholic is calling for all citizens to respond by placing pigs a plenty in public, ... a porcine figurine fest, or something. Good idea! We must cover the planet with piggies or lose our porkchops forever. Fight back. Defend Piglet. Send in the Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI). The real historical Winnie the Pooh, after all, was a Canadian Bear and World War I mascot of that Winnipeg regiment, from whence he derived his name. Mess with Winnie and his friends and you mess with the PPCLI, I say.

I shall tattoo my forearm with this motto. "Back bacon or Death" .... no, scrap that idea; I hate tattoos. Too navy for my taste.

If you think this is a unique situation think again. It is not. Consider this story in the Dispatch Online, via the Lost Budgie Blog.
Porcelain pigs offend Muslims

LEICESTER -- Police here in central England seized a collection of porcelain pigs from a house's window sill after Muslims complained that they were offensive.

"I just couldn't believe it, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," Mrs Nancy Bennett, the owner of the 17 miniature pigs, told the Sun tabloid newspaper.

The porcelain figures were held at the local police station, while Mrs Bennett was threatened with prosecution if she replaces the collection. Her house is located in the same street as the city's main mosque, meaning that Muslim worshippers often passed by her front window where the pig figurines were on display.

"Muslims find pigs highly offensive," explained police officer David Griffiths. "That is why the complaints were made". -- Sapa-AFP
That may well explain why complaints were made, but it does not explain the police acting in such a pig-headed manner. Sorry, I do not mean to insult the average police person who too often have been associated by low life gutter dwellers with the particular animal the Muslim s have placed under a cloud.

My goodness. If Pooh Bear is the subject of jihad, what about Porky Pig. Hide out with B' B' B' Bugs Bunny until the heat is off P'P'P'Porky. Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch him he's the, ... er ... sorry wrong children's tale. Is The Gingerbread Man children's book permitted under Sharia Law? It may be banned. One never knows.

What about Chicken Little? As a chicken he'll probably pass muster, but there are a lot of other animals in that story: Turkey Lurkey, Foxy Loxy, et al. For the life of me I can't recall if there is a Piggy Wiggie? Recalling correctly may be the difference for British toddlers between a cute, cuddly bedtime story and having the doors kicked in by the local constabulary and a prosecution under draconian hate literature laws.

And what about porcupines? What is their status? We must find out before it's too late.

I could have sworn I left my copy of Magna Carta around here somewhere ..... (I laugh so I do not scream, you see.)


At 4:04 am, October 02, 2005 , Blogger Mr G said...

If Muslims find pigs so offensive, surely the cops should arrest themselves since many call them "pigs" too...

I might be getting a knock on the door myself soon, since I've put up a picture of Miss Piggy on my own blog.

I'm so glad my tax money is being spent on such important work instead of being frittered away on banging up terrorists. :-/

At 12:59 pm, October 05, 2005 , Blogger bob said...

Had to link to you on this. Excellent!

At 11:21 pm, October 05, 2005 , Blogger The Exile said...

Wombats. What about wombats???

I say we unleash the B-2 bombers on the entire mideast and bomb them with frozen hams.

The week after that, back bacon (which we call ham).

Then pickled pigs feet.

Eventually they'd have to give in. It would be the ultimate in "ham-handed diplomacy".

At 12:04 pm, October 08, 2005 , Blogger Candace said...

exile, there is a difference between "back bacon" and ham. Not being a butcher, I haven't a clue what that difference IS, mind you. It does seem an awful lot like ham. I'm guessing it's off the back of the pig (hence the name), while a ham is the leg.

And I've got Piglet on my site too. Right up there with the gum for Dingwall.

At 3:03 pm, October 11, 2005 , Blogger John the Mad said...

As I understand it, Americans call it Canadian bacon, while we Canucks call it back bacon. It is leaner than regular bacon (and much more delicious.)

Give me back bacon or give me, er ....not death, that seems excessive, .... how about poached eggs? Yes siree, back bacon or poached eggs. Two positive choices. Thank you kindly, eh.


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