A Known Unknown

Behold the enemy.

I don't know about you but the main threat to my life is not Al Qaida or the approaching bird flu pandemic. No, my life is in the greatest peril because of folks riding the machines similar to the one depicted to the left. It may look benign to you, but to me it is the electric scooter of death.

The other morning I walked around a streetcorner in Toronto and was nearly sideswiped by a speeding maniac in a motorized wheelchair doing Mach 2 on the sidewalk.

Citizens lept to either side, and a good thing too, for the driver was intent on going as fast as possible and damn the collateral human damage. This has happened before. It is not an isolated incident.


I tell you we need to take action. Pedestrians of every political persuasion, religious of every denomination, bingo players of every brand of dabber, are all equally imperilled. I am a reasonable man. I am not seeking a total ban. I just think we need a law governing governors. We need devices attached to the motors of these infernal beasts which limit the speed and acceleration to something tolerable for a person on foot.

You laugh? Fine. Your time is coming. I hear the approaching whine of the electric engines as I write. Step carefully. Be aware of the Hum in the sun.