Beware of Christian Sexist Demonizers!

Christian sexist demonizer preparing to trick or treat
Photo courtesy of Google Images



It is not enough that Piglet and other apocryphal porcine characters are under attack in the UK from Muslim'’s who find imaginary pigs unacceptable literary subjects. It is not enough that English flag pins worn by Her Majesty'’s prison guards must be removed from HM tunics because Muslims of a certain criminal ilk find them offensive. No it is not enough!

Canadian socialistic cultural engineers will not be outdone in foolishness, idiocy or mendacity! No other nation's poltroon's must be allowed to surpass us when it comes to multi-cultural political correctness. For we are Canadians!

Forget Piglet! We Canucks have ghosts and goblins and wicked, wicked, witches to slay. Or the Toronto Public School board does.

As All-Hallow's Eve approaches an unnamed, dimwitted, cultural inquisitor from the Toronto Board of Education has circulated a memo to school principals directing that they play down Halloween. Sadly, the article by Nicholas Kohler of the National Post is no joke.

TORONTO - Teachers should forego traditional classroom Halloween celebrations because they are disrespectful of Wiccans and may cause some children to feel excluded, says a Toronto District School Board memo sent to principals and teachers this week.

"Many recently arrived students in our schools share absolutely none of the background cultural knowledge that is necessary to view 'trick or treating,' the commercialization of death, the Christian sexist demonization of pagan religious beliefs, as 'fun,' " says the memo.

The Christian sexist demonization of pagan religious beliefs, as fun? Toddlers in bumblebee costumes, roaming neighbourhoods on a cool October night, caging sugary treats are Christian sexist demonizers? Who knew? The Toronto School Board that's who.

Entitled "Halloween at TDSB Schools: Scarrrrrry Stufff," the document seeks to clarify for teachers and principals the extent to which Halloween activities should be pursued in multicultural settings. In the past, the unsigned memo laments, schools have received "mixed messages" from the board regarding Halloween. School board officials could not be reached for comment last night.

I'’m not surprised no one could be reached for comment. Anyone working for the school board who has a shred of self-respect is probably on stress leave, hiding under their bed weeping in utter humiliation that they should be connected with such a ridiculous initiative.

Citing calls by concerned principals and parents on the subject, the memo aims to make classroom Halloween celebrations consistent with the board's "equitable schools policies" and warns that "some students and their parents/ guardians might experience their first Halloween not as a 'strange surprise,' but a 'traumatic shock.' "

It is self-evident to any normal parent from any tribal group that the shock experienced by "recently arrived students" can be quickly overcome once they grasp that lots and lots of free candy is to be had in this celebration.

The memo goes on to remind teachers that, "Halloween is a religious day of significance for Wiccans and therefore should be treated respectfully."

You may think that the unknown author of this memo is just being sensitive. You would be wrong. Read the article again. It is evident from the language branding Christians sexist demonizers thsensitivityity is not the motive for the memo. We are encouraged to offer Wiccans what the memo writer doesn't grant Christians. Respect and courtesy.

For other students, "food products that are marketed heavily during the Halloween period" may conflict with dietary habits that children know from home. An alternative to eating sweets in class would be to "write health warnings for all Halloween candies."

This memo writer from Hell obviously hates kids and received her primary education in a Maoist re-education camp. I may be wrong. We may be dealing here with a transplanted veteran of the Kymer Rouge.

In any case, I have an even better alternative. School kids could spend their time learning the meaning of the words, "overwrought" "ideological" and "nincompoop." The earlier they learn about these words the better, I say.

The memo also warns teachers that "some students have had first-hand traumatic experiences of violence that make talking about death, ghosts, etc. extremely alienating."

Trust me. The trauma experienced by these children will pale in comparison to the damage done to them from prolonged exposure to the zealous, mentally arid temperment of the Toronto Public School Board employees.

Observers yesterday suggested the school board memo is a humourless attempt to deprive children of a favourite North American tradition."This is unbelievable. I'm sorry I'm laughing because it's so funny to read this thing," said Doretta Wilson, executive director of the Society for Quality Education, a parents group that advocates school choice.

"I just think it's taking political correctness to a ridiculous extreme."

There are some things with which even I can't argue.

Reading the caution to teachers regarding Wiccan sensitivities to Halloween, Ms. Wilson remarked: "That must drive the truly religious Jewish and Islamic and Christian parents who send their children to the public school system just 'round the bend.... It's almost as if it's not politically correct to be a Christian nowadays in our country."

And then there are things with which I can argue. The use of the word "almost" in the last sentence ought to be deleted.

She added: "Are they truly a significant proportion of the public school system?"

Probably. They no doubt number in the threes. But "they" don't seem to be upset.

Nicole Cooper, a first-degree priestess of the Wiccan Church of Canada's Toronto Temple, agreed. "Frankly, Wiccans are a minority -- an extreme religious minority," she said. The Halloween celebrations of North American pop culture, she added, are "not actually threatening to my religion anymore than eggs and cute little bunnies are threatening to Easter." Called Samhain by many Wiccans, Oct. 31 is the day the faithful celebrate the "turn of the new year," when the veil between this world and the underworld of departed souls is "at its thinnest," Ms. Cooper said. Many Wiccans perform "dumb suppers," eating meals before spaces made empty for the dead. Some gaze into water-filled bowels for a peek at the future, a divination technique called "scrying."

But none of this, Ms. Cooper said yesterday, should persuade schools to stop the candy-eating and costume-wearing of students. Indeed, many Wiccans themselves celebrate both Samhain and the masks-and-treats version of Halloween. "If I had children I wouldn't deprive them of that -- it's a really fun thing to do. It's engaging in the spirit of the season; it's exciting for kids," Ms. Cooper said.

So, if the Wiccans themselves are not demanding a cessation to Halloween in Toronto public schools, and if dentists all over the land are salivating at the prospect of extra business, what is the point of the ban on Halloween?

There is only one reasonable conclusion to draw. It is rather obvious don't you think? The ban on Halloween in the schools is intended to put those sexist Christian demonizers in their place. And the tears of disappointed kids are just not relevant when there is a great cause to be pursued.

Whatever witch cooked up this one up, you can bet it wasn't a Wiccan.