Thursday, August 25, 2005

I Blame It On Those High Tech Hammers Myself

So on Sunday afternoon I'm putting grommets into our awning over the deck (to let rain water drain), when I miss the tool and smash my thumbnail into pulp. Self-inficted flesh wound. Hurt like stink. "Goshdarnitall," say I, or something to that effect.

Lady Mad surveys damage and says she's taking me to the local emergency ward and place me in handyman's row with the rest of the gentleman suburbanite do-it-yourself squires.

In spite of pain I laugh. Then nearly pass out. Agree a tetanus shot is prudent, as hammer is rusty from being left out in rain by kids.

Sit down in front of triage nurse. She asks whether I've been to desk number one yet. "What and where is desk one," I ask?

"There," she says, pointing to a small table with antiseptic handwashing stuff. "You have to wash your hands with antiseptic first," she says. This is clearly a leftover procedure from the SARS crisis two years ago.

"Hell, I wash my hands with blood," say I, holding aloft my freely bleeding appendage.

"Skip stage one," says she.

Doctor freezes thumb sutures away and and removes thumb nail. (Only two hours in the Emerg. from start to finish!)

My thumb is very sore. Changing dressing yesterday was excruciating. Can hardly wait until tonight's dressing change.

Tying shoelaces and buttoning shirt is damn near impossible.

Keyboarding is not comfortable. Blogging is limited.

Now I understand now why two working opposable thumbs are standard issue for homo sapiens.

I shall lie me down and heal awhile and rise and blog again!


At 9:28 am, August 25, 2005 , Blogger Babbling Brooks said...

My wife recently splashed hot grease onto her neck, giving herself second degree burns. She was also relieved and surprised to only spend two hours in Emergency.

How low our expectations are.

Heal fast, John.

At 11:28 am, August 25, 2005 , Blogger Candace said...

OUCH! But 2 hours isn't bad at all. Last summer when my daughter broke her arm it was 3 hours (which I didn't think was that bad either).

We really DO have low expectations, don't we?

At 4:21 pm, August 25, 2005 , Blogger Kermit said...

Fortunately, I do not share your pain! However, I have, but in the past. I remember say "Oh, Darn!", twice and real loud.

Fortunately, here in the bog, we are always close to a healing mud poultice.

I would applaud your fortitude, but, although 8 fingers are in accord, two (each) thumbs and forefingers are in opposition.

Hang in there (without using your thumbs), old boy.

Peace be with you...

Kermit the Inept

At 11:35 pm, August 25, 2005 , Blogger John the Mad said...

Thanks all.

At 11:35 pm, August 25, 2005 , Blogger John the Mad said...

Thanks all.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home