Friday, August 19, 2005

Curiouser and Curiouser

So much to blog about. So little time to blog.

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My old friend, Sancho Panza of the Wholeful Countenance advises that Cindy Sheehan denies saying(as I posted on Monday from Drudge) that:
"You get America out of Iraq and Israel out of Palestine and you'll stop terrorism"
Sancho says that the source for this denial is the BBC. I tried to verify this, but failed. I take him at his word, however, and accept she has indeed saying it.

She has said that if she could she'd reverse history however.
I would push the button that would give Iraq back its power, water, and infrastructure. ...
And, of course, Saddam Hussein, his dictatorships, his prison for children, his industrial shredders (torture for the use of), his use of poison gas/nerve agents against Kurds, and his tens of thousands of arbitrary murders each and every year of his reign. Oops, she never said that either. How about this then.
If you aren't willing to send your own children to die for this most grievous bull-crap,THEN BRING THE REST OF OUR CHILDREN HOME...NOW!!! The definition of a just war is one that you are willing to have your own children die for. Apply the definition. Then send your own children if you believe this aggression is just...if not THEN BRING THE REST OF OUR CHILDREN HOME...NOW!!!

That being said by her, I still believe her "cause" presents a great danger to the whole of Western civilization. Pulling US troops out "now" would be an unmitigated strategic disaster for all of us and make things far worse than they are now for the people of Iraq.

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While on the subject of denials, Michaelle Jean, Paul Martin's appointee for the post of Governor-General, has denied that she and her husband are separatists. She probably thought that that the hard line separatists, with whom she and her hubby (His Excellency designate M. Lafond), were breaking bread in the now infamous video-tape, were toasting HM the Queen of Canada. Loyal toasts are given at dinners in my experience, though not so often in La Belle Province.

For my American readers, the loyal toast is "Ladies and gentlemen, Her Majesty the Queen of Canada." To which the reply is, "The Queen!" Then all present down a great gulp of fine port. It is great fun and I heartily recommend it for your next dinner party, or backyard BBQ. You may toast HM with water, of course, but I would avoid boxed wine. The latter has very poor optics and ardent monarchists will become suspicious of your intentions.

In Quebec the equivalent French toast is, "Mesdames et Messiers, La Reine du Canada" to which the traditional reply is something like (translations in parentheses were supplied by a Quebecois friend), "Pourquoi?" (Perfect Majesty) followed by "Merde!" (Magnificent One) with added mutterings of "Incroyable!" (We cry with joy) and "maudit Anglais." (Marvelous English speaking friends). I'm told the traslations are a bit rough, but they convey the essential respect Quebecois have for the Queen and English Canadians.

Alas, as we now know the hard line separatists at the aforementioned videotaped dinner were not toasting the Queen. I am shocked, of course, but filled with the milk of human condescension. Given the ghastly miscue by Mme Jean, in participating in the toast to an independent Quebec, I think she ought to get her hearing checked.

We don't want her responding to the Prime Minister's request to, "dissolve Parliament and call an election", with, "What's that you say Paul? Destroy Pembroke and prevent an infection." I mean with the impending pandemic and the GG being the future Commander-in-Chief of the Canadian Forces, her demonstrated hearing impairment could lead to a fine town filled with United Empire Loyalist descendants being wiped from the face of the earth.

Speaking of possible misunderstandings, let me be clear about my position on this affair.

  1. I'm not opposed to a woman being GG. I like women. I am deeply committed to one.
  2. I'm not opposed to a black woman being GG. Black is beautiful. (Mme Jean is.)
  3. I'm not opposed to a Haitian Canadian being GG. We are all immigrants, ... except those of us who aren't.
  4. I'm not opposed to a refugee being GG. I applaud that, as M. Lafond once said, "with both hands", which is much easier than applauding with one hand, let me tell you.
  5. I'm not opposed to a Quebecer being GG. It's their turn on the great wheel of patronage. And mon pays n'est pas mon pays, c'est la grande patronage, oui?
  6. I'm not opposed to the hard of hearing being GG. I said I'm not ... never mind ....
  7. I'm not opposed to a hearing impaired, black, Haitian, woman refugees from Quebec being appointed GG, who are also citizens of France.

Okay, I lied about number 7. Ya got me there. France, eh? The qualification too far.

And the CBC staffer part. Don't like that. I mean, hell, give other professions a shot at the job once in a while! How about a sanitary engineer for once? Seems to me Ottawa could use one.

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Margot Kidder, (the things we learn from Neale News, via the ) former girlfiriend of Superman has taken an oath of her own. She states her reasons for doing so in the London Free Press:
Actor Margot Kidder became a U.S. citizen Wednesday to avoid the possible deportation to her native Canada when she begins protesting the war in Iraq, she said. Kidder, best known for playing Lois Lane in the 1978 movie movie Superman and three sequels, was among 19 people who became citizens during a naturalization ceremony in Butte federal court.

"It means I can vote against anyone and everyone in elected office that in any way supported the Bush administration," said kidder, 56, who has lived in the United States for 34 years and has a home in Livingstone, Mont. ....

Kidder said in an interview after the ceremony that her sole motivation was to protest the war in Iraq. She also criticized the Gulf War in the 90s.
Now if we take her at her word Kidder has given the most negative reason I have ever heard, for becoming a citizen of a country. If I thought there was any merit to the idea, I'd seek out French citizenship myself. My, wouldn't that put the fear of God into President Jacques Chirac.

Frankly, I don't think Margot Kidder is being completely truthful in her rationale for become an American citizen. Becoming a citizen of a foreign country because you hate their head of state is, by any reasonable standard, .... well ... kind of nuts. So I think Kidder is kidding us on this point and has obtained citizenship in a foreign country, so she can round out her resume and fulfil the Liberal Party's prerequisites for being considered as a Governor General of Canada.

I mean she was already a woman, a media person, a liberal, and a hater of George W. Bush. She was already 80% of the way there. Now she has become a dual citizen just like Michaelle Jean. Does anyone know if Kidder is married to a film director? Either sex will do. She's half Canadian, after all.

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Me? I'll just sit this one out and await transportation back to the real earth. This proto-universe is just too darn confusing for me.

2 Comments:

At 2:48 am, August 20, 2005 , Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

Hello John the Mad,

I am visiting your blog for the first time and it's very interesting. But could you give some more historical background for the benefit of non-Canadians and apes?

For example, someone told me that the problems in Quebec are all the fault of an English general called Wolfe, who gave the Quebeckers a thrashing from which they never quite recovered.

Is this correct?

 
At 6:23 am, August 20, 2005 , Anonymous The Western Celt said...

Crikey! I see I need to brush up on my French.

 

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